To the girl who’s tough on herself


I know you woke up this morning not wanting to get up from bed. That heavy feeling in your gut is still there – and it has been for quite a long time. You finally stood up and looked at yourself in the mirror, and I know you felt like you wanted to like yourself. Another zit just popped up, your hair is in a tangled mess, your laugh lines seem more prominent, and the numbers on the scale are upsetting you even more.

I know, I get it. It’s hard to love yourself on most days. When no amount of makeup can conceal the bags under your eyes and you squeeze into your jeans again, it takes a toll on your confidence. When you scroll through social media and see photos after photos of women in bikinis, tight abs, perfect smiles, and twinkling eyes, it makes you feel even more insecure. Believe me, it happens to all of us. We all have down days where we feel insecure, inadequate and just not beautiful.

But I want to remind you of some things: that zit on your nose (normal, for anyone, might I add) is something that made your little niece smile and giggle, because you reminded her of Rudolf; your hair is messed up from the best well-deserved sleep you’ve had in weeks; those laugh lines are from the contagious laugh you carry with you and to everyone around you; and that little weight you gained is from the delicious dinners and get-togethers you’ve been having with your best friends this past week.

I wish you’d see yourself the way your friends and loved ones see you. How your eyes light up when you’re working on something you’re passionate about; how the room seems brighter when you walk in, armed with your colourful stories and hilarious puns; how much better someone’s day is when you check up on them, because you’re here to remind them that they are loved and not alone.

I wish you’d love yourself the way people love you. I wish you’d love all the parts of you that make you ‘you’, because you are beautiful and strong and capable; and the moment you realize it is the moment you help others feel the same way.Social media may be toxic sometimes, but it’s also a powerful tool. Let’s use our own platforms to spread light and cheer; cheer on the women who are struggling but fighting cheer, on the girls who support other girls, and build a culture that gets us to lift each other up so we can all grow together.

So, to the girl who’s tough on herself, remember to be kind to yourself. Create a safe space within yourself that celebrates your uniqueness and strength. Beauty is more than your physical aspect; beauty is ‘you’, in your own right. You are loved. You are more than enough.

One of the world’s most well-loved brand brands, Dove, understands the struggle that women have when it comes to one’s self-esteem and confidence. Their campaigns have become more socially relevant and close to home, upholding their mission to empower women by giving them the tools to build and protect their self-esteem. One of which is the ‘Dove Self-Esteem Project’ which has reached over 139 countries and 20 million people worldwide. To learn more, visit


Words by: Kyla Paler

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